Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Friday, June 19, 2026

Happy Juneteenth


juneteenth is the commemoration of the end of slavery in the usa. it was first used as a term in the 1890s but celebrations date back to the 1860s. people used to celebrate it outdoors or at church, due to segregation, even today, red food and drink. (such as strawberry juice and red velvet cake) are served to represent joy and resilience.

 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, July 25, 2025

Shark Half-Fortnight 2025: Happy Shark Birthday

a happy little yellow fish is talking to a big shark with a striped cone-shaped birthday hat on its fin. the little fish says, "Happy birthday! thanks for having me for dinner!"

 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, July 01, 2025

4 Exotic Foods to Try - What Will You Make?



 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, November 19, 2023

Thanksgiving 2023

guests arriving for thanksgiving dinner. when you ask someone to put the tablecloth on the table, specify that they put it on the table BEFORE the food...

 be careful what you ask for...

at
Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, November 02, 2022

The Little Prince and the Queen

a small ripoff of the great Antoine de Saint Exupery. Just a gift for some friends:  a couple whose travel photos included one picture of him as a long-haired youth wandering the sere lands of central Asia. happy and burned, and lots of photos of her sitting at a table alone smiling at some exotic breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, snack. Presumably he joined her after taking the photo.
 

at
Labels: , , , , ,

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Do Sharks Have a 30-Second Rule?

two sharks in the deep blue ocean. one has a human foot sticking out of its mouth. the other shark says, "Don't eat that. You have no idea where it's been!"

 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, July 17, 2022

the Vegan Shark

Three sharks in the big blue ocean. one says, "I thought you went vegan." The second one, who is munching on a human leg, says, "I did! this is plant-based." The third shark peers closely at the foot, and says, "Wow, super realistic!"

 

at
Labels: , , , ,

Sunday, June 12, 2022

4 Medical Excuses to get you out of anything!


 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, July 02, 2021

Zombie Secretary: Junk Food

Begonia, and her sister Petunia and another friend are walking around. Everyone is wearing masks but one guy drinking a big gulp. Begonia heads towards him, moaning, "Grrr....brains...". Petunia calls, "Begonia! Wait! He's not wearing a mask. His brain may be diseased." the friend asks, "yeah, isn't eating diseased brains bad for you?" Begonia looks up from where she is kneeling by the felled man, who is begging weakly for help. Begonia says, "you like cheetos, right?" Petunia says, "Sure, everyone likes junk food." the friend says, "And I love Ding-Dongs!" And Begonia says "So do I." and goes back to eating the guy's brains.

 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Local Food

a father is serving soup to his teenager. with a look of irritation he says, "Of course it's local food. I took it from our fridge."

 

at
Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, May 06, 2020

Quarantoon: Day 45 of Lockdown

kitchen. three people, a dog, a cat, and a baby. the baby is waving a knife and fork and grinning evilly with its one tooth. the dog and cat are howling and trying to get out of the way as one person leaps across the table holding a knife, while the other one knocks over a chair while running away holding a colander over their head for protection. Grandma is reaching for another knife from the knife holder. spoons and forks have been jabbed into the table top, bowls are flying, glasses are being knocked over. one person shouts "From now on we eat food that doesn't require utensils!"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Quisine! Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

Frame 1: A young woman in a chef’s hat holding up a plate. Recipe name: Raisins marinated in Thyme and Blue Nun Served on a Bed of Instant Rice Frame 2: A young man with a red neckerchief holding up a green sloppy burger in one hand, and a tiny glass jar in the other hand. Recipe name: Baby Food and Ramen in a Bun. Frame 3: An older woman in pearls drinking brown mush through a straw. Recipe Title: Matzoh Mix Smoothies Frame 4: A man in a grey chef’s coat adding parsley garnish to a loaded plate. Recipe Title: Pinto Beans on Pita With A Reduction of Vegemite

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, April 18, 2020

Quarantoons: Are You A Quarathlete?

Are You A Quarathlete: Nifty Exercises You Can Do in Lockdown! BEAN CURL: woman doing bicep curls with canned beans as dumbbells FAMILY LONG JUMP: three kids and a dog kneeling and looking up as dad takes a flying jump over their heads SPOUSE-UPS: Guy doing pushups on a layer of dozens of rolls of toilet paper still in the plastic wrapper. His wife is sitting on his back TIN-CAN RUN: Guy running in place in his bathtub - the bottom of the tub is lined with cans of food which act as a roller. at the bottom: “Handy tip: Use stockpiled TP or off-season clothes a gym mat!”

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Quarantoons: Sequestration Yoga

Need exercise but don't have enough space? Try the new Sequestration Yoga! Here are four useful poses for very crowded spaces, along with their sanskrit names. Frame 1: woman with grey ponytail squatting beneath her kitchen table: “Hunchinundatabel Pose” Frame 2: crowded kids’ bedroom. Man with red beard standing on one foot arms outstretched. A baby sleeps on his left hand. a toddler swings from his right arm. a dog perches on his uplifted knee, and a cat rubs against his ankle. “Uppahevibebi Pose” Frame 3: Woman squeezed between her kitchen table and her fridge. she’s balanced on one leg in dancer’s pose, one arm stretched behind to capture her uplifted foot. her other hand is feeding a sandwich into her face, and an open box of crackers stands on the table, along with a cereal bowl. “Findandeetamunchi Pose.” Frame 4: a tiny bathroom. Man on his back inside his shower stall. both legs stretched up above him in the waterfall pose. he’s struggling with his hands to grasp something on the slippery surface to help him get out of the pose. “Owai Kanget Auttashowa Pose”

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, April 09, 2020

Quarantoons: People Who Love Teleworking

frame 1: INTROVERTS: smiling man at home teleworking on his laptop. wearing shirt and tie. one cat looking out window, another cat snoozing beside him. Frame 2: AGORAPHOBES: teleworking man not smiling so much, curtain pulled, many locks and chains on the door, and delivery food being pushed through a cat-flap. Frame 3: ABLUTOPHOBES: teleworking man in smelly wrinkly clothes, dirty face and socks, hair grown long and tousled, sleeping beside him is a skunk. flies are circling his head. lots of leftover food containers litter the floor. Frame 4: YOUR OFFICE SUPPLY MANAGER: neatly dressed woman in front of fully stocked shelves. she smiles and says “Not one paper clip missing!”

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Quarantoons: 4 Activities to Balance your Health

four images. first: Woman doing pushups, cats supervising her, she's swearting. labeled Push-ups. Second: skinny guy in his tighty-whities trying to do a chin-up while his dog barks at him. Label: Pull-ups. Third: older bald guy in grey sweats doing situps and cussing and sweating Label: Sit-ups. fourth: woman grinning manically at the stove, flipping something greasy in a frying pan which also has a grilled cheese sandwich. she's drooling. Label: Fry-ups

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

Braisin

Guy in suit, snacking from the bowl on Begonia's desk: These white raisins aren't very sweet. Begonia: They're not raisins. I used Wade's melon scoop to ake sun-dried brain bits. i call them "Braisins." in the last cell: Guy in suit barfing into wastebasket, while mean old lady boss asks Begonia: Does Wade know what you used his melon scoop for? Begonia, looking at bowl of snacks: That is Wade.

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, December 01, 2019

Potluck

long tables are arrayed with dozens of potluck dishes. signs on the tables show what kind of food each table holds: Whole-30, Paleo, Keto, Cleanse, Fast 5:2, DASH, Gluten-free, Zone, Alkaline. A newcomer with a foil-wrapped pan asks, "where do we put desserts?" and another person responds, "Depends, does it have non-centrifugal sugar?"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving

Sr. Banana: (wearing a wreath of autumn leaves, he hands an invitation card to Bok Choi): You're invited to my Mabon party. It's a pagan thanksgiving. We'll do a sacrifice! BokChoi: That's illegal! Sr. Banana: We're sacrificing 500 chocolate croissants (later, all lying comatose on the floor in front of the crackling hearth fire, tummies full) BokChoi: This should be illegal.

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Garlic

Customer: Gimme a cup of coffee and the daily special. Waiter: It's pretty garlicky, Customer: I love garlic! Lots of it! (drinks coffee, spits it out). Customer: But not in my coffee!

at
Labels: , , , , , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)