Monday, August 31, 2020

Emergency Phone

Lonely highway, an elderly pickup truck is pulled off to one side, steam billowing out of the engine. in the foreground, an orange Emergency Phone with the word SOS painted on the side. The man in overalls is holding a wrench in one hand, and the telephone receiver in the other hand. he has a puzzled look on his face. coming from the receiver of the telephone is a shrieking voice that yells, "Help! Help!"

 

Friday, August 28, 2020

Moving House: Moving Stuff

interior of a house. Cardboard boxes stacked everywhere, a carpet is rolled up, and a dog is asleep on the floor. two people fill the boxes with their household belongings, and carry the boxes out. written in marker on the boxes: Bathroom / Kitchen / Junk Drawer / Stuff i want HIM to deal with / Stuff we don't need but can't let go of yet / Her Junk / stuff to donate (but not yet) / wrapped presents for whoever/ To sort out later

 

Sunday, August 16, 2020

In Hell

scene: Hell. an underground cavern with a lake of lava and steam. Two sinners are up to their necks in fiery brimstone, and from a cliff above them a winged red demon pours a buck of hot lava onto their heads. One sinner says to the other, "It's not the heat, so much as the humidity."
 

Sunday, August 09, 2020

Shark Half-Fortnight draws to a close: Speaking of Bait....

We close out the Shark Half-Fortnight by easing up a little on our shark addiction, and looking at shark's pelagic pal, the Octopus!  or in this case, the Octopus and the Hero - a tale worthy of Chaucer, perchance?

Saturday, August 08, 2020

Shark Half-Fortnight: Bait

midocean, a diver approaches a shark holding his hand out, swimming eagerly - the shark is dangling an irresistable lure: a bottle of beer
 

Wednesday, August 05, 2020

Shark Half-Fortnight: Predatory Watermelon (Carcharodon Citrullus)


hot summer day out in the fields. a gardener in bluejean cutoffs and a bandannam wearing gloves and holding a clipper, holds a watermelon in her arms, and she looks frightened. circling around her feet, rustling through the greenery and vines is a school of watermelons with sharklike fins and teeth, and angry red eyes

Tuesday, August 04, 2020

Shark Half-Fortnight: School Teacher


Mid-ocean. A school of young sharks is gathered around their teacher. One child raises a fin and asks, "Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?" The teacher, with a bored look, replies, "I eat you."

Monday, August 03, 2020

Shark Half-Fortnight: Snorkling with the Sharks


A snorkeler paddling happily along the surface of the water encounters a shark coming towards him. the shark is upside down, floating in the air, with its fin in the water, and it too has a snorkel, allowing it to breathe in the water.

Sunday, August 02, 2020

Shark Half Fortnight: underwater SMS texting


a scuba diver hovers in the ocean, fins slowly paddling, as she uses her waterproof phone to text a friend. Behind her a shark is opening huge jaws to engulf her. Her friend texts, "Look out! Shark!" and she responds, "LOL, right!"

Saturday, August 01, 2020

Shark Half Fortnight: Tragedy Strikes at the Linnaean Society Picnic

The Linneaean Society of London is a learned society dedicated to Taxonomy, the correct naming of all species.
Members of the Linnaean Society - scientific naming of all species by taxonomy - are picnicking at the beach. The members of the Linnaean society leap to their feet yelling at a swimmer, "Look out! Carcharodon Carcharias!" and the swimmer shouts back, "What?" as a shark sneaks up behind him.
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