Showing posts with label lockdown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lockdown. Show all posts

Saturday, May 09, 2020

When Lockdown Ends (our locks after lockdown)

big city park scene: children playing in a sandbox, a lady walking her dog, a father taking his toddler for a walk, children flying a kite, a lady dancing and singing, a bird flying overhead. all of them have hair down to their waists, or a giant fluffy afro. the man has a waistlength bear also. and the dog has long dragging hair, too. and the bird, the bird has long hair. why? birds have feathers, don't they? well, this bird has long hair, ok?

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Wednesday, May 06, 2020

Quarantoon: Day 45 of Lockdown

kitchen. three people, a dog, a cat, and a baby. the baby is waving a knife and fork and grinning evilly with its one tooth. the dog and cat are howling and trying to get out of the way as one person leaps across the table holding a knife, while the other one knocks over a chair while running away holding a colander over their head for protection. Grandma is reaching for another knife from the knife holder. spoons and forks have been jabbed into the table top, bowls are flying, glasses are being knocked over. one person shouts "From now on we eat food that doesn't require utensils!"

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Monday, May 04, 2020

Autotranslate: Emergency Texts from the Government

two different women staring perplexedly at their cellphones. one has a text reading "If you have high blood pressure, dry hair, or a swollen chest, call your local doctor by phone!" the other phone reads, "Follow good hygiene and keep atrophy safe!"

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Monday, April 27, 2020

Quarantoon: Carrot Soup

a pot of bubbling soup in the foreground next to a chopping board with a big knife, half a lemon, a potato, and some green onions. to the side is a table with a bowl and spoon. and across the kitchen there is a man standing in front of the open fridge. the crisper drawer is open and a carrot and a parsnip or a turnip are waving their fists. the Turnip has a sign that says "Freebom!" the Carrot yells "We're tired of being stuck in the fridge! We want out!" And the man says "Ok" with a smile.

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Sunday, April 26, 2020

Quarantoon: Power Outages

sunset in a semidark apartment. a darkened laptop on the desk, the lamp is off, a candle next to it is lit. a weight bench and scattered barbells lie about the floor, with a cat lounging on the bench. a person is talking on the cellphone. someone's voice from inside the cellphone: "The power's out again? So what do you do when that happens?" the person answers "exercise." we see that the person has grotesquely huge powerful muscles all over the body.

This is the logical outcome of converging problems: countries where the power is cut off frequently, and a time when people aren't allowed to leave home.  Any hobbies we have suddenly go into overdrive. 
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Saturday, April 25, 2020

Quarantoon: Day 30 of Family Lockdown

two crazed people chasing each other through an apartment. the female character is chasing the male character, She's brandishing a baseball bat. She yells, "He touched my side of the sofa!" The guy yells "She pinched me!" meanwhile in the foreground a teen with a disgusted expression is sitting in an easy chair texting on her cellphone. the text reads "Barfy Emoticon. Parents are at it again."

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Friday, April 24, 2020

Quarantoon: Day 21 of the Lockdown

Family of five adults and two kids in a small messy apartment. three adults are having a shouting match, one is on his knees covering his head. the baby is screaming on the couch. the toddler is chewing on the coffee table. and in the foreground a frazzled lady in rumpled pink bathrobe and pajamas says into the cellphone: "Oh yes, we're all really good!"

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Thursday, April 23, 2020

Quisine! Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

Frame 1: A young woman in a chef’s hat holding up a plate. Recipe name: Raisins marinated in Thyme and Blue Nun Served on a Bed of Instant Rice Frame 2: A young man with a red neckerchief holding up a green sloppy burger in one hand, and a tiny glass jar in the other hand. Recipe name: Baby Food and Ramen in a Bun. Frame 3: An older woman in pearls drinking brown mush through a straw. Recipe Title: Matzoh Mix Smoothies Frame 4: A man in a grey chef’s coat adding parsley garnish to a loaded plate. Recipe Title: Pinto Beans on Pita With A Reduction of Vegemite

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Saturday, April 18, 2020

Quarantoons: Are You A Quarathlete?

Are You A Quarathlete: Nifty Exercises You Can Do in Lockdown! BEAN CURL: woman doing bicep curls with canned beans as dumbbells FAMILY LONG JUMP: three kids and a dog kneeling and looking up as dad takes a flying jump over their heads SPOUSE-UPS: Guy doing pushups on a layer of dozens of rolls of toilet paper still in the plastic wrapper. His wife is sitting on his back TIN-CAN RUN: Guy running in place in his bathtub - the bottom of the tub is lined with cans of food which act as a roller. at the bottom: “Handy tip: Use stockpiled TP or off-season clothes a gym mat!”

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