Sunday, December 03, 2023

Gluten-Free Baby Jesus

Manger scene, donkey chewing hay and watching as three holy men offering gifts to Mary who holds the Christ Child in her lap. She says, "Thank you. Is it gluten-free?"

 

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Sunday, November 19, 2023

Thanksgiving 2023

guests arriving for thanksgiving dinner. when you ask someone to put the tablecloth on the table, specify that they put it on the table BEFORE the food...

 be careful what you ask for...

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Saturday, November 11, 2023

The Useless Guide to Forest Berries

6 different drawings of red berries on green leaves = all indistinguishable from each other. Holly berry (Poisonous), Lingonberry (edible), Mistletoe (poisonous), Silver buffalo berry (edible), Bunchberries (edible), yew berry (poisonous)

 

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Saturday, September 30, 2023

4 Meanings of the Equinox


 

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Sunday, September 24, 2023

Equinox Goals

3 pagans meditating in a twilit forest. one thinks, "Harmony" and another things "Peace" and the third is peeking in the picnic basket thinking "Snacks"

 

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Saturday, July 29, 2023

Moving-Day Fantasy

a woman kneeling on the floor, taping a carton shut. she is surrounded by hundreds of boxes, all labeled "stuff" - a thought balloon shows her imagining running blissfully through wide open space with a hobo stick over her shoulder, a hankie tied around a small bundle of her things"

 

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Saturday, July 22, 2023

Pregnant? Four Responses to Unsolicited Advice (and Uninvited Frisking) from (Im)perfect Strangers

Four panels, each one showing a different pregnant woman responding to a person's comment. 1)You should watch what you eat. answer: you need to diet a little yourself. 2. you should cut out sugar. answer: and you should lay off the caffeine. 3)do you have stretch marks? answer: do you? 4)a man pats her tummy and says "I want to feel it kick" and she puts her hand on his butt and says "lemme feel them buns move!"

 

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Thursday, July 13, 2023

Shark Pinata

Undersea, a group of sharks wearing colorful party hats on their dorsal fins. one is holding a diver by the air hose, and the shark says,"Happy Birthday!" One of the other sharks says, "Hurray! You brought the Pinata!"

 

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Monday, July 10, 2023

Shark and Diver

underwater, the vase blue ocean. a lone diver meets a lone shark. both think, "uh-oh!"

 

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Saturday, July 08, 2023

Death by Statistics

a small plane calling Mayday falls towards a swimmer being bitten by a shark while a coconut falls on their head and a car drives into them.

 

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Saturday, July 01, 2023

Balta Varna: White Crow

Happy Pride Month!  Here's what i wore to the Pride Parade this year


 

black tshirt with "Balta Varna" on back, painted in rainbow colors, above a cute white cartoon crow. Front of shirt has an authentic representation of a dancing crow skeleton.

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Sunday, June 25, 2023

Enlightenment

Woman meditating on a floor mat, peeks at her watch, and thinks, "Come on, Enlightenment, i haven't got all day!"

 

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Sunday, June 18, 2023

Summer Solstice at the Vampire's Castle

a cobwebby basement of an old castle, an ornate stone coffen upon a carved bier, candles shedding yellow light in the gloom. An elderly servant stands near the coffin looking at a pocket watch, and says, "You can't get up yet. it's another 15 hours until dark." from inside the coffin someone thinks, "#&^$% Summer Solstice!"

 

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Sunday, May 14, 2023

EEO Counselor

business meeting. the bos says: "ok next item." Begonia, the zombie secretary, stands up and begins reading from a paper. "Apparently Wade grabbed her boobs." she points at a colleague, then points at two others. "Reece harassed those two." Points at a dark-skinned man, "Blake used racist language with him." gestures at a woman with a reddish nose, "John says Alice drinks at work." The boss furiously holds up her hand, and says, "stop! Begonia! what is all this?!" and Begonia replies, "Remember, I'm the new EEO counsellor? Thanks for choosing me, by the way. it's super interesting."

 

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Sunday, May 07, 2023

Psychiatric Techniques

Psychiatrist sitting in a chair, patient lying on the couch. the office has all the implements of torture: rack, iron maiden, chains, hooks, cuffs, pillory. the Shrink says: "yes, my psychiatric techniques are a tad controversial, but i have many celebrity endorsements."

 

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Saturday, April 29, 2023

Easter Bunny and Sidecar Egg

Bunny in motorcycle jacket, aviator goggles and cap driving a sidecar motorcycle. in the sidecar sits an enormous decorated egg

 

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Gluten-Free Baby Jesus