Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas

Squash the Dog is spooning black powder into a paper tube. "How much gunpowder goes into a christmas cracker?" Señor Banana is sucking on a candy cane while replacing bulbs in an old string of christmas lights, which is plugged in. Bok Choi is pouring scotch into a saucepan over an open flame, while humming "tum tum figgy pudding" -- in the last frame all three are black frizzy lumps waving happily, "Have a safe Christmas!"

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Thursday, December 19, 2019

Green Dog Cafe Solstice 2019

Krampus and the Solstice Goat are catching up over a cup of coffee. Goat: So Krampus did you collect a lot of bad children? Krampus: No, just politicians. Goat: Bet you could use some cheering up. Want to come on rounds with me? Krampus: that sounds like fun! Meanwhile at the Green Dog Cafe our heros eagerly look out the window into the night. BokChoi: There! There's the Solstice Goat! Earl: The goat isn't alone. Last panel: Goat and Krampus handing out presents to the terrified staff of the Green Dog Cafe. Krampus: Don't worry. I'm off duty.

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Saturday, December 14, 2019

Solstice 2019

Celebrants around the bonfire on solstice night, holding herbs and sickle, and singing. one says "I swear, the solstice starts earlier every year."

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Saturday, December 07, 2019

Gingerbread Love

the gingerbread man kneels in the white icing snow, proposing to his gingerbread lady. but she sadly says "My parents will only let me marry someone who's gluten-free."

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Sunday, December 01, 2019

Potluck

long tables are arrayed with dozens of potluck dishes. signs on the tables show what kind of food each table holds: Whole-30, Paleo, Keto, Cleanse, Fast 5:2, DASH, Gluten-free, Zone, Alkaline. A newcomer with a foil-wrapped pan asks, "where do we put desserts?" and another person responds, "Depends, does it have non-centrifugal sugar?"

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Thursday, November 28, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving

Sr. Banana: (wearing a wreath of autumn leaves, he hands an invitation card to Bok Choi): You're invited to my Mabon party. It's a pagan thanksgiving. We'll do a sacrifice! BokChoi: That's illegal! Sr. Banana: We're sacrificing 500 chocolate croissants (later, all lying comatose on the floor in front of the crackling hearth fire, tummies full) BokChoi: This should be illegal.

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Sunday, November 24, 2019

Desert Writing Workshop

A tiny raincloud pours rain down on a group of people seated in the middle of the desert. the leader says "Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on Irony."

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Saturday, November 23, 2019

Now What?

Someone sits at a desk writing. on the paper are the words "Once upon." The person thinks, "Now what?"

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Monday, November 18, 2019

Meanwhile, at the Writers' Retreat

far out in the wilderness, a pencil sits in a lonely dirt road. far down the road, a writers' cabin sits alone atop a stony mesa. someone in the retreat house curses, discovering that they've lost their pencil.

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Monday, October 14, 2019

The Ruin is under new management

scene: Haunted ruins, Spirit of corporate guy reads from clipboard: "The ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades, and spirits. All others report to spook resources. Bonuses will be based on teamwork and synergy."

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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Casual Friday Equinox

everyone in the office is wearing half summer clothing and half winter clothing - a bikini top with ski pants, sweather with cutoff shorts, etc., and one office worker says to another: "This is what happens when the equinox falls on Casual Fridays."

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Saturday, September 21, 2019

Halloween - the Nurse Costume

a Halloween party. The male host, dressed as Dracula, welcomes the female guest, dressed in cheerful scrubs and crocs. the host says, "Oh, when you said yuou were coming as a nurse, I imagined something else."

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Thursday, July 04, 2019

The Good Idea Fairy

the employee has just finished off a big pile of paperwork when a flying lightbulb appears smiling over her, and says "Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

4 Great Ways to Fail

1. you knew too little. 2. You knew too much. 3. You didn't pay attention. 4. You paid. (FBI arresting a college student)

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Sunday, February 17, 2019

Ego

Office of the CEO. Corner, view of big city skyline. Years are scrawled on the doorway to his office. 1990 at the bottom, 2019 at the top. the Secretary tells a visitor "It's his ego growth chart."

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Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Valentine's Day 2019

Senor Banana speaks: Honestly? Sometimes you make me feel bad. But waking up to you makes me so happy! I need and adore you forever. Bok Choi asks Earl and Ella: Who's he talking to? Earl: His Coffee. Ella: Again.

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Gluten-Free Baby Jesus