Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts

Sunday, December 03, 2023

Gluten-Free Baby Jesus

Manger scene, donkey chewing hay and watching as three holy men offering gifts to Mary who holds the Christ Child in her lap. She says, "Thank you. Is it gluten-free?"

 

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Saturday, July 22, 2023

Pregnant? Four Responses to Unsolicited Advice (and Uninvited Frisking) from (Im)perfect Strangers

Four panels, each one showing a different pregnant woman responding to a person's comment. 1)You should watch what you eat. answer: you need to diet a little yourself. 2. you should cut out sugar. answer: and you should lay off the caffeine. 3)do you have stretch marks? answer: do you? 4)a man pats her tummy and says "I want to feel it kick" and she puts her hand on his butt and says "lemme feel them buns move!"

 

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Wednesday, May 06, 2020

Quarantoon: Day 45 of Lockdown

kitchen. three people, a dog, a cat, and a baby. the baby is waving a knife and fork and grinning evilly with its one tooth. the dog and cat are howling and trying to get out of the way as one person leaps across the table holding a knife, while the other one knocks over a chair while running away holding a colander over their head for protection. Grandma is reaching for another knife from the knife holder. spoons and forks have been jabbed into the table top, bowls are flying, glasses are being knocked over. one person shouts "From now on we eat food that doesn't require utensils!"

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Thursday, April 16, 2020

Quarantoons: Sequestration Yoga

Need exercise but don't have enough space? Try the new Sequestration Yoga! Here are four useful poses for very crowded spaces, along with their sanskrit names. Frame 1: woman with grey ponytail squatting beneath her kitchen table: “Hunchinundatabel Pose” Frame 2: crowded kids’ bedroom. Man with red beard standing on one foot arms outstretched. A baby sleeps on his left hand. a toddler swings from his right arm. a dog perches on his uplifted knee, and a cat rubs against his ankle. “Uppahevibebi Pose” Frame 3: Woman squeezed between her kitchen table and her fridge. she’s balanced on one leg in dancer’s pose, one arm stretched behind to capture her uplifted foot. her other hand is feeding a sandwich into her face, and an open box of crackers stands on the table, along with a cereal bowl. “Findandeetamunchi Pose.” Frame 4: a tiny bathroom. Man on his back inside his shower stall. both legs stretched up above him in the waterfall pose. he’s struggling with his hands to grasp something on the slippery surface to help him get out of the pose. “Owai Kanget Auttashowa Pose”

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Saturday, June 04, 2016

I Am A Racist: Another Odd Conversation

I Am A Racist: Another Odd Conversation
I Am A Racist: Another Odd Conversation
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