Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Krampus has a problem


Frame 1: Solstice Goat finds Krampus sitting disconsolately in the snow beneat the window of a house. "What's wrong, Krampus?" "oh hi, Solstice Goat. Sigh...i used to knw which kids were the bad ones." Frame 2: Krampus continues. "They used to give other kids wedgies." we see a big girl yanking the underwear up on a little kid. Frame 3: "...and swirlies." We see a bihg boy holding a little kid by the ankles over a flushing toilet. Frame 4: "now they barely move! how do I know who to punsh?" We see Krampus and the Goat peering through the window into a living room where three children sit on the sofa, each one staring blank-eyed into an electronic device - phone, ipad, computer.

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Monday, December 20, 2021

Solstice lights

Frame 1: Sr. Banana and Bokchoi look at a calendar with a snowman on it. Bolchoi says, “Almost solstice!” nearby, Happy the Poodle, Ella the Persian Cat, and Earl, the English Bulldog are at a table slumped over teacups and mugs. Happy says, “good.” Ella says, “I miss the light.” Earl says, “me too.” Frame 2: Sr. Banana says, “wait! i have a bright idea. stay right there!’ Frame 3: Everyone has been completely wrapped up in strings of fairy lights and all the colors of the rainbow gleam brightly, and everyone shouts, “Happy Solstice!”

 

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Saturday, December 18, 2021

Solstice Goat Visits

Frame 1: Solstice Goat arrives with a big bag full of presents and gives one to Ella, the persian cat, saying "Tada!" Ella crosses her arms and says, "a book?" and Earl, the English Bulldog says, "She wants a scooter." Frame 2: Solstice Goat rolls its eyes and says, "then she should BUY a scooter, Churl!" Earl makes fists, saying "hey! no one talks to me like that!" and in the background ella is unwrapping the book. Frame 3: Ella, Earl, and the Goat are all in a big fighting ball of hissing, shouting, claws, and punches, and the book comes flying out and lands on the ground. Frame 4: Senor Banana comes along, says "ooh! a book!" and picks it up, then says, "Poems of Peace. what a great present!"

 

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Friday, December 10, 2021

Expensive Coffee - the mini series

Frame 1. Sr. Banana, the chihuahua, sits on a small rug and polishes a silver teapot. Frame 2: a blue-green genie in a golden fez begins to drift out of the teapot spout. it says, “So, Sr. Banana. you summon me once again.” Sr. Banana says, “Si.” Frame 3: The genie, now full out, and dressed in red and white polka-dotted harem pants, sits cross-legged on a cloud of minty green mist, and says, “For what do you wish?” Sr. B says, “to taste the most expensive coffee on earth!” Frame 4: the Genie, who has purple eyes, says, “And? you still have two wishes.” Sr. B ponders, and then says, “ok, the THREE most expensive coffees on earth!”

Frame 1: Sampling the priciest coffees on earth. The Genie hands Sr. Banana a small cup of steaming black coffee, and says, “This is Kopi Luak, also called civet coffee.” Frame 2: Sr. Banana inhales the aroma with closed eyes, and says, “mmmm! where are the beans from?” Frame 3: The door opens and three animals with golden fur and black stripes stride in. one says “You just don’t want to know.” the second says, “where’s the bathroom?” and the third says, “who has the collection jar?”

Frame 1: Sr. Banana points at his cup of coffee and speaks to one of the three civets. “This coffee is made from beans you picked out of your DUNG?” Frame 2: the civet points a nose in the air and says, “Please. we say ‘harvested’.” Frame 3: another civet comes up and hands Sr. Banana a glass jar and says, “here’s more beans.” a third civet says, “we only found 14.” the first civet adds, “and you’re out of t.p.” Frame 4: the civets leave, striding past the window of the cafe. the Genie says to Sr. Banana, “and, as you can see, they’re free-range civets.”

Black Ivory The Genie sits cross-legged on a cloud of green mist, and says, “this coffee is five times as expensive as civet coffee.” Frame 2: closeup of a steaming cup of black coffee. the genie says, “It’s called “Black Ivory.” Frame 3: Sr. Banana, the chihuahua who wished for expensive coffee, covers his eyes and says. “ivory? wait. is it also made from half-digested beans?” Frame 4: an elephant trunk drifts down into view from far above, startling Sr. Banana, and a voice says, “We prefer to say ’natural refined.’ Now, where’s the bathroom?”

Frame 1: The Genie snaps a finger and a cup of coffee appears. Genie says, “for your third wish, Elida Geisha, $75 per cup.” Frame 2: the genie holds out the cup and a plate of food, and says, “it pairs well with argan oil and hummus.” Sr. Banana motions angrily with his hand. “No! No more coffee made from dung!” Frame 3: the Genie says, “but-“ and Sr. Banana interrupts, saying “no coffee but i’ll take the hummus.” Frame 4: A goat comes up behind Sr. Banana and asks, “you do know where organ oil comes from, right?” and other voice says, “quick! where’s the bathroom?”

 

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Wednesday, December 01, 2021

How To Saint

How to Saint In the past, to be a saint you had to give up your time and money. (scene: an elderly bearded man in a monk’s robe handing bread out to a line of homeless people in the snow, cats and pigeons cleaning crumbs off the cobblestones. ) or bits of your body (scene; a dungeon. a nun behind bars. a greasy jailer chortling and approaching with giant tongs). You had to withstand criticism (Scene, the french countryside. Joan of Arc in armor and carrying a banner of the flour de lys, marching off, while peasants watch and say “She’s mad!”) Lots of it. (scene, John the Evangelist in a giant pot with a fire stoked beneath it. a man in leather doublet pours a long ladle of hot oil over the marty’s head) But now it’s easier! (scene, an office. two desks. one person says “I sent you that link you wanted.” the other person says “you’re a saint!”) Scene: two people waiting at a bus stop on an icy day. one holds out a thermos cup and says “coffee?” and the other says, “you’re a saint.” So become a saint today - refill someone’s printer paper! (scene - a person shutting the paper tray of a desktop printer and winking)

 

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Saturday, November 27, 2021

Packing Peanuts

A couple standing amid several big cartons filled to the top with packing peanuts. the man looks satisfied, and says, "we're gonna need more packing material!" the other person looks in frustration at the labels on each box: 1 plate. 1 cup. 1 book.

 

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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Mama does the Laundry

woman and her grown son sit at the kitchen table. she's got hair curlers in, and is wearing a yellow dress and pineapple earrings, and is drinking tea or coffee. he is in a suit and fedora and is slumped over his cup, no eye contact. strung from wall to wall is rope with wet money hanging off it by clothes pins. She says, "Tommy, when are you gonna start doing your own laundry?" and he mutters, "Come on, ma...."

 

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Sunday, November 14, 2021

2022 Maze Calendar

MAGICAL MAZES!

You’re stuck on hold on the phone? Waiting for your ride to show up?
Put your finger at the beginning of the maze and find your way. If you find the exit before your ride arrives, you win! If your ride arrives before you finish, you win!
Available now at Lulu.com

 




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Thursday, November 11, 2021

4 Types of Online Trolls

4 Types of Online Trolls: Frame 1: Seems Nice. Is Nasty. a sweet looking guy is typing busily at his computer and smiling. he types "hi! want to play Farm Babies with me?" but in the background we see bones of dead people, and torture victims hanging from the walls of the dungeon he's in. Frame 2: Seems Nasty, Is Nice. a middle aged woman is playing competitively on a gameboy unit, and he yells “die in a ditch, fartnoise! you’re PWNED!” while the computer plays sounds of shooting, crashing, and screaming. on the wall behind her is a certificate for Teacher of the Year, and lots of pictures drawn by kids, with crayon, reading “we love you” and with hearts and other gushy stuff. Frame 3: History Buffs. shows the comments section of an online article. Reelmerican writes; The pandemic is a hoax. Governnor Hitler can’t quarantine us! Mallard Fillmore’s Grandpa writes: Pfft. Anne Frank had it better!! Chewy34P3 writes: Mussolini would have fixed this faster. CaptainOfMyOwnDestiny writes: FREEDOM4 AMERICAA!!!!111111 Frame 4: Actual trolls. we see a giant shaggy orange beast with pointed teeth sitting in a hammock near a peaceful lake, beneath palm stress. the Beast types on its iPad: thurhug ishug gorotu ushhinuku gorotu dure? duleakum inifir glogzag hakawn!

 

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Monday, October 25, 2021

Green Dog Cafe Halloween 2021 - what's hot in costumes?

Frame 1: 2021's most popular halloween costumes: The Virus (picture of Happy the blue poodle wearing a blobby green costume. Frame 2: The Bee. picture of Bok Choi the siamese cat pulling on a black and yellow bee costume with wings. frame 3: the Imp. picture of Señor Banana the Chihuaua in a red devil outfit painting fierce eyebrows on. Frame 4: The warm coat: picture of all three at an outdoor party, bundled up in parkas, autumn leaves blowing around them. a banner reads: "Stay Safe - Party Outside!."

 

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Monday, September 27, 2021

The Achiever (the overthinker)

 

This is really more about overthinking than achieving.  And about how you can have several whole trains of thought in the space it takes someone to say two words out loud.


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Thursday, August 19, 2021

Plop

 My first Plop! This is the 40th anniversary of the German independent comic collection Plop and it’s running the Zombie secretary, Begonia featuring her difficulties on speed date night.



Cover of the German comic book Plop, featuring a rather frightening looking long-haired baseball player with blood on the bat

This is a photograph of the artist holding up the envelope in which her comic book came from Germany


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Monday, August 16, 2021

Bunedämmerung - the complete Bun Cycle


 The complete bun series is now online! Click here https://genevievecartoons.blogspot.com/p/bun.html
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Saturday, July 10, 2021

Zombie Secretary: Awards

Boss says: "Last year, people who didn't get awards complained. So this year, i gave everyone awards. and STILL they complain! Fix it, Begonia." Next scene: offstage screams, blood puddles on the floor. last scene: Begonia returns to the boss and says, "Ok, I--" The boss cuts her off. "Don't want to know. Here's an award for fixing it." and hands begonia a framed award.

 

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Friday, July 02, 2021

Zombie Secretary: Junk Food

Begonia, and her sister Petunia and another friend are walking around. Everyone is wearing masks but one guy drinking a big gulp. Begonia heads towards him, moaning, "Grrr....brains...". Petunia calls, "Begonia! Wait! He's not wearing a mask. His brain may be diseased." the friend asks, "yeah, isn't eating diseased brains bad for you?" Begonia looks up from where she is kneeling by the felled man, who is begging weakly for help. Begonia says, "you like cheetos, right?" Petunia says, "Sure, everyone likes junk food." the friend says, "And I love Ding-Dongs!" And Begonia says "So do I." and goes back to eating the guy's brains.

 

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Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Zombie Secretary: Woke-Fish

Date night. Begonia and a young man, both wearing masks, are seated at a romantic little table with a bottle of champagne nearby. The man says, "I'm openminded, babe. For example, I'm totally cool with your being a zombie. In fact it's kinda hot," he says, as pops the cork. Begonia says, "So you don't mind if i eat your brains, then?" the man yells, "Wait! MINE? Are you f-" Next scene: Petunia returns home to see Begonia and the man seated at the kitchen table. the top of the man's head has been sheared off and his brains removed. Petunia says, "Ah great, i see you brought dinner." Begonia. who has begun eating, says, "Yep. And it's still kinda hot."

 

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Sunday, June 27, 2021

Zombie Secretary: I Love My Job So Much


Begonia and a colleague are sitting at their desks. the colleague says cheerfully, "I just love my job SO much" She throws her hands up and exclaims, "I want to die at my desk!" A hand then plunges a huge knife into her back. Last scene: the person is dead, facedown on the keyboard. He ghost, stands nearby and shouts angrily, "That's not what i meant!" Begonia answers, "No backsies."

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Sunday, June 20, 2021

Solstice June 2021


 

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