Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Quarantoons: 4 Activities to Balance your Health

four images. first: Woman doing pushups, cats supervising her, she's swearting. labeled Push-ups. Second: skinny guy in his tighty-whities trying to do a chin-up while his dog barks at him. Label: Pull-ups. Third: older bald guy in grey sweats doing situps and cussing and sweating Label: Sit-ups. fourth: woman grinning manically at the stove, flipping something greasy in a frying pan which also has a grilled cheese sandwich. she's drooling. Label: Fry-ups

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Monday, March 23, 2020

The Chef is in Quarantine

Ella (the customer): "where's Sr. Banana?" BokChoi (placing napkin and silverware before Ella and pouring water): "He's in quarantined in back with some weird disease." (Then BokChoi brings bowl of food to Ella's table): "I can't let him out here to breathe on our customers. But don't worry...he can stil cook. Enjoy your lunch." (and Ella looks in disgust at her food)

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

COVID-19 Vs Air Pollution

spiky pink beastie labeled COVID-19 menaces grey cloudy beastie labeled Air Pollution, which is slinking away terrified.
at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Happy Equinox

It's the equinox! now the day and night are equally long. they say you can balance eggs on end today. Banana: balances egg on its end. Squash: drops eggs and says "Look! i stood them all on end!" Bok Choi: what's today's special? Banana, glowering, says: "Crunchy omlettes."

at
Labels: , , , , , ,

Saturday, March 07, 2020

Bun 003 Shovel that Snow!

Frame one: Bun is lolling on the sofa. the Chef says "You have to work, Bun. Go shovel the snow." Frame 2: Bun protests: "It's a blizzard out there! Can't i do something else?" Frame 3: Chef holds out toilet brush, saying, "Sure! Clean the toilets." Frame 4: Bun is outside shoveling snow and cursing, while chef watches through the window, thinking "It works every time."

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Bun 002 Sofa Tester

read all the Buns in order! Click Here.
Frame 1: Bun sleeps peacefully on the sofa. Frame 2: Chef angrily says "Lazy Bun! You can't just lie around on the sofa all day!" Frame 3: Chef shakes ladle and says "You need a job!" Bun says "I have a job." Frame 4: "I'm a sofa tester." Bun pokes sofa. " This one's so-so"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Bun 001 Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time a baker was making breadrolls when suddenly one jumped off the pan. Bun: Haha! you can't catch me, nobody can! Narrator: This is the story of Bun, the brave little breadroll who ran away from home.... (Bun runs down the street and into a chubby kid who licks his lips and says "Yummy!" Narrator: ...and then ran back. (Bun comes crashing through the door into the kitchen screaming "Aiiieeeeee!")


at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Valentine's Day with Five Famouse authors

Faulkner tries to tweet, but exceeds the character limit. Agatha Christie speed dates - a corpse on the floor next to her as she speaks to the next date, saying (actual quote) "You are far too trusting for this wicked world, dear." Prous has an enormous candy heart with his writing on love, and it's still not big enough to hold his wordiness. Kafka tries tinder, but the prospective date looks like a cockroach, so he swipes left. Shakespeare sends a young lady a text: "Marry, if you would put me to verses or to dance for your sake, Kate, why you undid me LOL. For the one i have neither words nor measure, and for the other i have no strength in measure." smileyface emoticon, heart emoticon. She thinks "Huh?"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Valentine's day

Mae, a little girl in a purple footie pajama, is eating an enormous stack of giant cookies and drinking gallons of milk. In the second panel all the cookies are gone and she's holding her giant tummy. Text: "It is impossible to love and be wise." - Francis Bacon

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, January 05, 2020

Memory Loss

In the breakroom at work. One guy says: "I'm worried about my memory lately." Begonia says "Ooh, let me help." 2nd panel: censored scene of unimagineable violence, 3rd panel: you can see it anyway - she's scooping out his brains. Mean old lady boss says "Begonia! How does that help?" 4th Panel: Begonia (wiping lips with matching hankie) "Well, he's not worried about his memory anymore, right?" other colleague hustles away saying "Just remembered, i gotta go."

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

Braisin

Guy in suit, snacking from the bowl on Begonia's desk: These white raisins aren't very sweet. Begonia: They're not raisins. I used Wade's melon scoop to ake sun-dried brain bits. i call them "Braisins." in the last cell: Guy in suit barfing into wastebasket, while mean old lady boss asks Begonia: Does Wade know what you used his melon scoop for? Begonia, looking at bowl of snacks: That is Wade.

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas

Squash the Dog is spooning black powder into a paper tube. "How much gunpowder goes into a christmas cracker?" Señor Banana is sucking on a candy cane while replacing bulbs in an old string of christmas lights, which is plugged in. Bok Choi is pouring scotch into a saucepan over an open flame, while humming "tum tum figgy pudding" -- in the last frame all three are black frizzy lumps waving happily, "Have a safe Christmas!"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Green Dog Cafe Solstice 2019

Krampus and the Solstice Goat are catching up over a cup of coffee. Goat: So Krampus did you collect a lot of bad children? Krampus: No, just politicians. Goat: Bet you could use some cheering up. Want to come on rounds with me? Krampus: that sounds like fun! Meanwhile at the Green Dog Cafe our heros eagerly look out the window into the night. BokChoi: There! There's the Solstice Goat! Earl: The goat isn't alone. Last panel: Goat and Krampus handing out presents to the terrified staff of the Green Dog Cafe. Krampus: Don't worry. I'm off duty.

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Solstice 2019

Celebrants around the bonfire on solstice night, holding herbs and sickle, and singing. one says "I swear, the solstice starts earlier every year."

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, December 07, 2019

Gingerbread Love

the gingerbread man kneels in the white icing snow, proposing to his gingerbread lady. but she sadly says "My parents will only let me marry someone who's gluten-free."

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, December 01, 2019

Potluck

long tables are arrayed with dozens of potluck dishes. signs on the tables show what kind of food each table holds: Whole-30, Paleo, Keto, Cleanse, Fast 5:2, DASH, Gluten-free, Zone, Alkaline. A newcomer with a foil-wrapped pan asks, "where do we put desserts?" and another person responds, "Depends, does it have non-centrifugal sugar?"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving

Sr. Banana: (wearing a wreath of autumn leaves, he hands an invitation card to Bok Choi): You're invited to my Mabon party. It's a pagan thanksgiving. We'll do a sacrifice! BokChoi: That's illegal! Sr. Banana: We're sacrificing 500 chocolate croissants (later, all lying comatose on the floor in front of the crackling hearth fire, tummies full) BokChoi: This should be illegal.

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Desert Writing Workshop

A tiny raincloud pours rain down on a group of people seated in the middle of the desert. the leader says "Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on Irony."

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Now What?

Someone sits at a desk writing. on the paper are the words "Once upon." The person thinks, "Now what?"

at
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Monday, November 18, 2019

Meanwhile, at the Writers' Retreat

far out in the wilderness, a pencil sits in a lonely dirt road. far down the road, a writers' cabin sits alone atop a stony mesa. someone in the retreat house curses, discovering that they've lost their pencil.

at
Labels: , , , , , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)