Showing posts with label boss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boss. Show all posts

Sunday, August 17, 2025

Traffic Cones Coffee Break

four orange traffic cones are in a workroom drinking coffee and water. one holds a clipboard and says "Jones, you're on I-95 all week." Jones says, "ok, boss, just don't put me in a zipper lane." The boss continues, "powell, you'll be out at the Driver Education lot since Dempsey got run over." Powell turns very pale, and a fourth cone leans over and says, "Calm down, no one goes over four miles an hour there."

 

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Friday, July 04, 2025

4 Employee Evaluations (to watch out for)


 

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Sunday, May 14, 2023

EEO Counselor

business meeting. the bos says: "ok next item." Begonia, the zombie secretary, stands up and begins reading from a paper. "Apparently Wade grabbed her boobs." she points at a colleague, then points at two others. "Reece harassed those two." Points at a dark-skinned man, "Blake used racist language with him." gestures at a woman with a reddish nose, "John says Alice drinks at work." The boss furiously holds up her hand, and says, "stop! Begonia! what is all this?!" and Begonia replies, "Remember, I'm the new EEO counsellor? Thanks for choosing me, by the way. it's super interesting."

 

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Saturday, July 10, 2021

Zombie Secretary: Awards

Boss says: "Last year, people who didn't get awards complained. So this year, i gave everyone awards. and STILL they complain! Fix it, Begonia." Next scene: offstage screams, blood puddles on the floor. last scene: Begonia returns to the boss and says, "Ok, I--" The boss cuts her off. "Don't want to know. Here's an award for fixing it." and hands begonia a framed award.

 

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Sunday, July 12, 2020

Zombie Secretary: Diversity, Nutrition, Resilience


Panel 1: the boss says to the audience of employees, "Today's topics are Diversity, Nutrition, and Resilience." Panel 2: she continues, "Begonia will present first." Panel 3: Begonia turns to the man sitting next to her and reaches for him, growling, "brains,....gr...." and the boss shouts, "Begonia! No!" Panel 4: Begonia, now, holding the terrified coworker by his hair and tie, turns to the boss, and says, "What? I'm demonstrating nutrition." the boss shouts, "Diversity! As our token zombie, you represent diversity!"
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Saturday, June 06, 2020

The New CFO


Human Resources office. Hiring manager on one side of desk says, "Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!" on the other side of the desk is a dominatrix in full black patent-leather gear, high-heeled boots, and a whip.
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Thursday, July 04, 2019

The Good Idea Fairy

the employee has just finished off a big pile of paperwork when a flying lightbulb appears smiling over her, and says "Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

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Sunday, February 17, 2019

Ego

Office of the CEO. Corner, view of big city skyline. Years are scrawled on the doorway to his office. 1990 at the bottom, 2019 at the top. the Secretary tells a visitor "It's his ego growth chart."

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Monday, May 16, 2016

Rip! Zombie Secretary take care of your work.


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Sunday, December 22, 2013

Solstice 2013

The longest day of the year in my hemisphere!  if you're in the north, imagine that we're cleaning the greasetraps at night, and it WILL seem like the longest night of the year. Happy solstice, everyone!
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