Gentoons

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Showing posts with label printer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label printer. Show all posts

Monday, February 21, 2022

Minced Oath Day 2022


 
a multipanel strip showing people in medieval clothes and village. opening line: “One Fine February 26th:” closeup of a quill writing on paper, squirting ink. a voice shouts: “Gadsbudlikins! thou incontinent quill of an unwiped pigeon!” the author, and enraged woman with ink stained fingers shouts at a maidservant: “clean this mess, beslubbering scut! “ then the author summons a young person and gives them the parchment, saying “here, unhandsome hornbeast! take this forthwith to that leptus-leering swag-bellied rampallion of a printer that She may publish it forthwith!” Then the young person marches angrily across the village muttering, “witless deck.” at the print house, the printer - a woman in an ink-stained apron yells, “what kept thee, tardy-gaited pin-buttock? it’s nigh midnight!” then grabs a tray and turns to the printing press, yelling at a nearby little kid, “fetch a bolt of cotton-picking paper, thou lumpish Rabbit-sucker!” and the kid runs off, thinking, “Horrid bugbear!” At dawn the printer hands a stack of papers out of the window to a young person, saying “sell these all by noon, and no shoving them into the sewers like last year, cautelous princox!” the young person carries the stack away thinking, “Facinerous quatch-buttock!” last frame: the young paper seller stands on a corner shouting, “Read all about it! it’s national minced oath day!” and a swashbuckling young woman marches up taking a coin out of her belt, saying “gimme a doggone copy.”

at February 21, 2022
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Labels: anger management, bad word, curse, minced, newspaper, oath, printer, shakspeare

Wednesday, December 01, 2021

How To Saint

How to Saint In the past, to be a saint you had to give up your time and money. (scene: an elderly bearded man in a monk’s robe handing bread out to a line of homeless people in the snow, cats and pigeons cleaning crumbs off the cobblestones. ) or bits of your body (scene; a dungeon. a nun behind bars. a greasy jailer chortling and approaching with giant tongs). You had to withstand criticism (Scene, the french countryside. Joan of Arc in armor and carrying a banner of the flour de lys, marching off, while peasants watch and say “She’s mad!”) Lots of it. (scene, John the Evangelist in a giant pot with a fire stoked beneath it. a man in leather doublet pours a long ladle of hot oil over the marty’s head) But now it’s easier! (scene, an office. two desks. one person says “I sent you that link you wanted.” the other person says “you’re a saint!”) Scene: two people waiting at a bus stop on an icy day. one holds out a thermos cup and says “coffee?” and the other says, “you’re a saint.” So become a saint today - refill someone’s printer paper! (scene - a person shutting the paper tray of a desktop printer and winking)

 

at December 01, 2021
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Labels: charity, coffee, computers, Evangelist, inflation, Joan of Arc, martyr, office, paper, printer, saint, St. John, torture
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Genevieve
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Freelance cartoonist. I do comic strips and cartoons for fun and profit. Especially for fun.
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