Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts

Friday, April 24, 2026

Rich Customer

in the background we see a shop with vases, plates, and cups on the shelves. an enormous bull in a wool overcoat and linen scarf peers through bifocals at a huge vase. in the foreground, a nervous salesman peers into the manager's office and tells her "um, so, the good news is we have a customer who looks rich."

 

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Sunday, September 14, 2025

Budget Cuts

A biology lecturer shows a projected slide packed with thousands of teeny words and images. she says "due to budget cuts, we had to put the entire semester on one slide."

 

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Friday, December 10, 2021

Expensive Coffee - the mini series

Frame 1. Sr. Banana, the chihuahua, sits on a small rug and polishes a silver teapot. Frame 2: a blue-green genie in a golden fez begins to drift out of the teapot spout. it says, “So, Sr. Banana. you summon me once again.” Sr. Banana says, “Si.” Frame 3: The genie, now full out, and dressed in red and white polka-dotted harem pants, sits cross-legged on a cloud of minty green mist, and says, “For what do you wish?” Sr. B says, “to taste the most expensive coffee on earth!” Frame 4: the Genie, who has purple eyes, says, “And? you still have two wishes.” Sr. B ponders, and then says, “ok, the THREE most expensive coffees on earth!”

Frame 1: Sampling the priciest coffees on earth. The Genie hands Sr. Banana a small cup of steaming black coffee, and says, “This is Kopi Luak, also called civet coffee.” Frame 2: Sr. Banana inhales the aroma with closed eyes, and says, “mmmm! where are the beans from?” Frame 3: The door opens and three animals with golden fur and black stripes stride in. one says “You just don’t want to know.” the second says, “where’s the bathroom?” and the third says, “who has the collection jar?”

Frame 1: Sr. Banana points at his cup of coffee and speaks to one of the three civets. “This coffee is made from beans you picked out of your DUNG?” Frame 2: the civet points a nose in the air and says, “Please. we say ‘harvested’.” Frame 3: another civet comes up and hands Sr. Banana a glass jar and says, “here’s more beans.” a third civet says, “we only found 14.” the first civet adds, “and you’re out of t.p.” Frame 4: the civets leave, striding past the window of the cafe. the Genie says to Sr. Banana, “and, as you can see, they’re free-range civets.”

Black Ivory The Genie sits cross-legged on a cloud of green mist, and says, “this coffee is five times as expensive as civet coffee.” Frame 2: closeup of a steaming cup of black coffee. the genie says, “It’s called “Black Ivory.” Frame 3: Sr. Banana, the chihuahua who wished for expensive coffee, covers his eyes and says. “ivory? wait. is it also made from half-digested beans?” Frame 4: an elephant trunk drifts down into view from far above, startling Sr. Banana, and a voice says, “We prefer to say ’natural refined.’ Now, where’s the bathroom?”

Frame 1: The Genie snaps a finger and a cup of coffee appears. Genie says, “for your third wish, Elida Geisha, $75 per cup.” Frame 2: the genie holds out the cup and a plate of food, and says, “it pairs well with argan oil and hummus.” Sr. Banana motions angrily with his hand. “No! No more coffee made from dung!” Frame 3: the Genie says, “but-“ and Sr. Banana interrupts, saying “no coffee but i’ll take the hummus.” Frame 4: A goat comes up behind Sr. Banana and asks, “you do know where organ oil comes from, right?” and other voice says, “quick! where’s the bathroom?”

 

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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Mama does the Laundry

woman and her grown son sit at the kitchen table. she's got hair curlers in, and is wearing a yellow dress and pineapple earrings, and is drinking tea or coffee. he is in a suit and fedora and is slumped over his cup, no eye contact. strung from wall to wall is rope with wet money hanging off it by clothes pins. She says, "Tommy, when are you gonna start doing your own laundry?" and he mutters, "Come on, ma...."

 

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Saturday, March 27, 2021

Tax Day in Ancient Egypt

Label: One Fine April Day, 8,000 years ago. Scene: desert at midday. a line of people and camels queue in front of a solitary pyramid bearing a plaque: H&R Pyramid Tax Advisers 
long before the pharaohs ruled and the great pyramids were built, independent businesses throve. thrived. whatever. did you know there used to be giraffes in ancient Egypt?

 

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Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Yoga (Mugging) in the Park


People doing yoga in the park have left their bags, wallets, and purses out on the grass near by. A robber comes by, points a gun at them as they are touching their toes, and shouts "Reach for the sky! No, wait...uh...reach for the ground!"
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Saturday, June 06, 2020

The New CFO


Human Resources office. Hiring manager on one side of desk says, "Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!" on the other side of the desk is a dominatrix in full black patent-leather gear, high-heeled boots, and a whip.
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Sunday, May 17, 2020

Green Dog Cafe: Cup Charge



The customer, a little white dog, says to the water, a big English Sheepdog in a green apron: Can i have some hot water? The waiter says, "Sure, there's a 35-cent charge." The customer says: I brought my own cup. The waiter says, "umm...." and the customer says. "So you owe me 35 cents." the waiter says, "ok" and gives the money to the customer who leaves. last panel: the owner, a siamese cat named Bok Choi appears, arms crossed, looking angry at the waiter. "We need to talk," Bok Choi says.
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