Monday, June 20, 2022

Green Dog Cafe: Juneteenth 2022


 

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Sunday, June 12, 2022

4 Medical Excuses to get you out of anything!


 

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Sunday, June 05, 2022

Kakao Karten - Artist Trading Cards 1-8 or maybe 1-9

https://www.kakao-karten.de/benutzer/19542/galerie










 

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Sunday, March 27, 2022

DIY - Four New Do-It-Yourself Tasks

Do it yourself:  we used to have experts help us with important things.  Now we have to be our own lawyers, publishers, travel agents, and accountants.  What's next?

 

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Sunday, March 20, 2022

Equinox 2022

Rolling green hills, Stonehenge at sunset. Two druids are looking to one side at a tumbled pile of boulders. one says, "That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

 

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Friday, March 04, 2022

Run Rabbit!

Scene: office at the greyhound racetrack. a sleazy guy in a suit holds out a pen and a contract, smiling. the rabbit looks at the contract and says, "Well, the pay is great, so i guess i'm in. But why did the last rabbit quit?" in a window behind the rabbit you see the stadium, the racetrack, and, - pressing its nose against the window - a fierce muzzed greyhound, staring at the rabbit.

 

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Monday, February 21, 2022

Minced Oath Day 2022


 
a multipanel strip showing people in medieval clothes and village. opening line: “One Fine February 26th:” closeup of a quill writing on paper, squirting ink. a voice shouts: “Gadsbudlikins! thou incontinent quill of an unwiped pigeon!” the author, and enraged woman with ink stained fingers shouts at a maidservant: “clean this mess, beslubbering scut! “ then the author summons a young person and gives them the parchment, saying “here, unhandsome hornbeast! take this forthwith to that leptus-leering swag-bellied rampallion of a printer that She may publish it forthwith!” Then the young person marches angrily across the village muttering, “witless deck.” at the print house, the printer - a woman in an ink-stained apron yells, “what kept thee, tardy-gaited pin-buttock? it’s nigh midnight!” then grabs a tray and turns to the printing press, yelling at a nearby little kid, “fetch a bolt of cotton-picking paper, thou lumpish Rabbit-sucker!” and the kid runs off, thinking, “Horrid bugbear!” At dawn the printer hands a stack of papers out of the window to a young person, saying “sell these all by noon, and no shoving them into the sewers like last year, cautelous princox!” the young person carries the stack away thinking, “Facinerous quatch-buttock!” last frame: the young paper seller stands on a corner shouting, “Read all about it! it’s national minced oath day!” and a swashbuckling young woman marches up taking a coin out of her belt, saying “gimme a doggone copy.”

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Sunday, February 06, 2022

How does moving make you feel?

A couple are packing up their household. the moving van is visible at the curb; it's filled with boxes and things wrapped in quilts. inside, stacks of boxes fill the room, a cat is hiding on a shelf and another cat and dog are getting in the way. One person dances around the room waving a chiffon scarf, and says, "moving makes me feel so light and free!" The other person kneels on the floor scowling, rolling up a carpet, and says, "not me."

 

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Sunday, January 16, 2022

You Are Marching: MLK, Trekkie

Frame 1: we see a drawing of MLK at about 10, in his best sunday suit and tie, giving the vulcan salute and smiling. “You are marching,” Martin Luther King Jr., Trekkie. Frame 2: a picture of the Starship Enterprise flying through the deep space “one of MLK’s contributions to civil rights began with his love of star trek. Frame 3: Two little children watching a 1960’s era television on which Mr. Spock can be seen. “it was the only TV show he allowed his children to stay up and watch.” Fram 4: a picture of a beautiful young black woman in a Star Trek uniform busy at the communications console of a spaceship. “One day, at an NAACP fundraiser, he met Nichelle Nichols, who played Lieutenant Commander Uhura.” Fram 5: We see King and Uhura at a gala ball, chatting together. “Ms Nichols had just that week decided to leave the show. MLK advised her not to. “You are marching,” he said.” Frame 6: We see a little Whoopi Goldberg, only 9 years old, running happily in her living room, shouting “Come quick! Come quick! There’s a black lady on TV and she ain’t no maid!”. “so she stayed...and was an inspiration for generations to come. “ Frame 7: A scene of the bridge on the starship, with 9 women in uniforms sitting and standing. “as Captain Kirk said, and all the other captains would agree, There is no room for bigotry on the bridge.” there are many other women captains in Star Trek - i just didn’t have enough room. Names of the captains shown here Capt. Erika Benteen Capt. Phillipa Louvois Capt. Rachel Garrett Capt. Tryla Scott Capt. Silva La Forge Capt. Philippa Georgiou Capt. Michael Burnham Capt. Kathryn Janeway Capt. Kasidy Yates-Sisko

 Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

Sources:  https://screenrant.com/star-trek-female-captains/  | http://www.yurtopic.com/society/people/mlkjr-facts.html| Https://www.npr.org/2011/01/17/132942461/Star-Treks-Uhura-Reflects-On-MLK-Encounter

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Wednesday, January 05, 2022

ZBS - Mojo's Cafe for Lost Dreamers

visit ZBS.org to buy, listen, and donate!


 


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Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Krampus has a problem


Frame 1: Solstice Goat finds Krampus sitting disconsolately in the snow beneat the window of a house. "What's wrong, Krampus?" "oh hi, Solstice Goat. Sigh...i used to knw which kids were the bad ones." Frame 2: Krampus continues. "They used to give other kids wedgies." we see a big girl yanking the underwear up on a little kid. Frame 3: "...and swirlies." We see a bihg boy holding a little kid by the ankles over a flushing toilet. Frame 4: "now they barely move! how do I know who to punsh?" We see Krampus and the Goat peering through the window into a living room where three children sit on the sofa, each one staring blank-eyed into an electronic device - phone, ipad, computer.

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Monday, December 20, 2021

Solstice lights

Frame 1: Sr. Banana and Bokchoi look at a calendar with a snowman on it. Bolchoi says, “Almost solstice!” nearby, Happy the Poodle, Ella the Persian Cat, and Earl, the English Bulldog are at a table slumped over teacups and mugs. Happy says, “good.” Ella says, “I miss the light.” Earl says, “me too.” Frame 2: Sr. Banana says, “wait! i have a bright idea. stay right there!’ Frame 3: Everyone has been completely wrapped up in strings of fairy lights and all the colors of the rainbow gleam brightly, and everyone shouts, “Happy Solstice!”

 

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Saturday, December 18, 2021

Solstice Goat Visits

Frame 1: Solstice Goat arrives with a big bag full of presents and gives one to Ella, the persian cat, saying "Tada!" Ella crosses her arms and says, "a book?" and Earl, the English Bulldog says, "She wants a scooter." Frame 2: Solstice Goat rolls its eyes and says, "then she should BUY a scooter, Churl!" Earl makes fists, saying "hey! no one talks to me like that!" and in the background ella is unwrapping the book. Frame 3: Ella, Earl, and the Goat are all in a big fighting ball of hissing, shouting, claws, and punches, and the book comes flying out and lands on the ground. Frame 4: Senor Banana comes along, says "ooh! a book!" and picks it up, then says, "Poems of Peace. what a great present!"

 

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Friday, December 10, 2021

Expensive Coffee - the mini series

Frame 1. Sr. Banana, the chihuahua, sits on a small rug and polishes a silver teapot. Frame 2: a blue-green genie in a golden fez begins to drift out of the teapot spout. it says, “So, Sr. Banana. you summon me once again.” Sr. Banana says, “Si.” Frame 3: The genie, now full out, and dressed in red and white polka-dotted harem pants, sits cross-legged on a cloud of minty green mist, and says, “For what do you wish?” Sr. B says, “to taste the most expensive coffee on earth!” Frame 4: the Genie, who has purple eyes, says, “And? you still have two wishes.” Sr. B ponders, and then says, “ok, the THREE most expensive coffees on earth!”

Frame 1: Sampling the priciest coffees on earth. The Genie hands Sr. Banana a small cup of steaming black coffee, and says, “This is Kopi Luak, also called civet coffee.” Frame 2: Sr. Banana inhales the aroma with closed eyes, and says, “mmmm! where are the beans from?” Frame 3: The door opens and three animals with golden fur and black stripes stride in. one says “You just don’t want to know.” the second says, “where’s the bathroom?” and the third says, “who has the collection jar?”

Frame 1: Sr. Banana points at his cup of coffee and speaks to one of the three civets. “This coffee is made from beans you picked out of your DUNG?” Frame 2: the civet points a nose in the air and says, “Please. we say ‘harvested’.” Frame 3: another civet comes up and hands Sr. Banana a glass jar and says, “here’s more beans.” a third civet says, “we only found 14.” the first civet adds, “and you’re out of t.p.” Frame 4: the civets leave, striding past the window of the cafe. the Genie says to Sr. Banana, “and, as you can see, they’re free-range civets.”

Black Ivory The Genie sits cross-legged on a cloud of green mist, and says, “this coffee is five times as expensive as civet coffee.” Frame 2: closeup of a steaming cup of black coffee. the genie says, “It’s called “Black Ivory.” Frame 3: Sr. Banana, the chihuahua who wished for expensive coffee, covers his eyes and says. “ivory? wait. is it also made from half-digested beans?” Frame 4: an elephant trunk drifts down into view from far above, startling Sr. Banana, and a voice says, “We prefer to say ’natural refined.’ Now, where’s the bathroom?”

Frame 1: The Genie snaps a finger and a cup of coffee appears. Genie says, “for your third wish, Elida Geisha, $75 per cup.” Frame 2: the genie holds out the cup and a plate of food, and says, “it pairs well with argan oil and hummus.” Sr. Banana motions angrily with his hand. “No! No more coffee made from dung!” Frame 3: the Genie says, “but-“ and Sr. Banana interrupts, saying “no coffee but i’ll take the hummus.” Frame 4: A goat comes up behind Sr. Banana and asks, “you do know where organ oil comes from, right?” and other voice says, “quick! where’s the bathroom?”

 

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Wednesday, December 01, 2021

How To Saint

How to Saint In the past, to be a saint you had to give up your time and money. (scene: an elderly bearded man in a monk’s robe handing bread out to a line of homeless people in the snow, cats and pigeons cleaning crumbs off the cobblestones. ) or bits of your body (scene; a dungeon. a nun behind bars. a greasy jailer chortling and approaching with giant tongs). You had to withstand criticism (Scene, the french countryside. Joan of Arc in armor and carrying a banner of the flour de lys, marching off, while peasants watch and say “She’s mad!”) Lots of it. (scene, John the Evangelist in a giant pot with a fire stoked beneath it. a man in leather doublet pours a long ladle of hot oil over the marty’s head) But now it’s easier! (scene, an office. two desks. one person says “I sent you that link you wanted.” the other person says “you’re a saint!”) Scene: two people waiting at a bus stop on an icy day. one holds out a thermos cup and says “coffee?” and the other says, “you’re a saint.” So become a saint today - refill someone’s printer paper! (scene - a person shutting the paper tray of a desktop printer and winking)

 

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Saturday, November 27, 2021

Packing Peanuts

A couple standing amid several big cartons filled to the top with packing peanuts. the man looks satisfied, and says, "we're gonna need more packing material!" the other person looks in frustration at the labels on each box: 1 plate. 1 cup. 1 book.

 

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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Mama does the Laundry

woman and her grown son sit at the kitchen table. she's got hair curlers in, and is wearing a yellow dress and pineapple earrings, and is drinking tea or coffee. he is in a suit and fedora and is slumped over his cup, no eye contact. strung from wall to wall is rope with wet money hanging off it by clothes pins. She says, "Tommy, when are you gonna start doing your own laundry?" and he mutters, "Come on, ma...."

 

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Sunday, November 14, 2021

2022 Maze Calendar

MAGICAL MAZES!

You’re stuck on hold on the phone? Waiting for your ride to show up?
Put your finger at the beginning of the maze and find your way. If you find the exit before your ride arrives, you win! If your ride arrives before you finish, you win!
Available now at Lulu.com

 




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Thursday, November 11, 2021

4 Types of Online Trolls

4 Types of Online Trolls: Frame 1: Seems Nice. Is Nasty. a sweet looking guy is typing busily at his computer and smiling. he types "hi! want to play Farm Babies with me?" but in the background we see bones of dead people, and torture victims hanging from the walls of the dungeon he's in. Frame 2: Seems Nasty, Is Nice. a middle aged woman is playing competitively on a gameboy unit, and he yells “die in a ditch, fartnoise! you’re PWNED!” while the computer plays sounds of shooting, crashing, and screaming. on the wall behind her is a certificate for Teacher of the Year, and lots of pictures drawn by kids, with crayon, reading “we love you” and with hearts and other gushy stuff. Frame 3: History Buffs. shows the comments section of an online article. Reelmerican writes; The pandemic is a hoax. Governnor Hitler can’t quarantine us! Mallard Fillmore’s Grandpa writes: Pfft. Anne Frank had it better!! Chewy34P3 writes: Mussolini would have fixed this faster. CaptainOfMyOwnDestiny writes: FREEDOM4 AMERICAA!!!!111111 Frame 4: Actual trolls. we see a giant shaggy orange beast with pointed teeth sitting in a hammock near a peaceful lake, beneath palm stress. the Beast types on its iPad: thurhug ishug gorotu ushhinuku gorotu dure? duleakum inifir glogzag hakawn!

 

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Monday, October 25, 2021

Green Dog Cafe Halloween 2021 - what's hot in costumes?

Frame 1: 2021's most popular halloween costumes: The Virus (picture of Happy the blue poodle wearing a blobby green costume. Frame 2: The Bee. picture of Bok Choi the siamese cat pulling on a black and yellow bee costume with wings. frame 3: the Imp. picture of Señor Banana the Chihuaua in a red devil outfit painting fierce eyebrows on. Frame 4: The warm coat: picture of all three at an outdoor party, bundled up in parkas, autumn leaves blowing around them. a banner reads: "Stay Safe - Party Outside!."

 

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