Thursday, December 31, 2020

New Year on Desert Island

a lonely desåert island in the middle of the ocean. two castaways in ragged clothing flinge their hands joyously in the air and say, "This year, I resolve to give up smoking!" and "And I resolve to lose 15 pounds!"


 

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Gingerbread Iglu

a snowy flat landscape, the sunlow on the horizon. a Gingerbread person is decorating a gingerbread iglu for the holidays with cream, frosting, gumdrops, lollipops, and peppermints.

 

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Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Fireworks

A guy is getting ready to light up a bunch of fireworks. he's missing many finger and one ear, and is covered in burn scars. he tells a dubious onlooker: "safe? of course it's safe! i do fireworks every year!"

 

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Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Desert Island Joke 2020

A castaway on a tiny deser island looks up at a giant ship that is passing by. Three sailors lean over the railing looking down at her. The sailors are all wearing face masks. the captain shouts, " Believe us, you're better off there."

 

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Friday, December 25, 2020

Green Dog Christmas: Earl and Ella Exchange Gifts

Frame 1: Earl the English Bulldog and Ella the Persian Cat sitting on a fluffy rug by the Christmas Tree. Earl gives Ella an orange box with a yellow ribbon, and says, “Merry Christmas, Ella.” Frame 2: Ella opens and stares inside the box. “A bone.” she says. Frame 3: Earl says, “Well, you never use the stuff i give you, so i got you what i like.” and Ella says, “Yeah? Well YOU always exchange whatever i give you!” and she hands a small white package wrapped in red ribbon to him. Frame 4: earl opens his gift, and sees it filled with green herbs. “You gave me catnip?” he says. “Fine, be that way,” says Ella. “Gimme.” and she holds out the bone and her open paw to take the catnip.

 

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Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Green Dog Cafe: Krampus at Work

Frame 1: Krampus chasing a terrified boy through a snowy landscape, shouting “C’mere brat!” - over his shoulder, Krampus carries a burlap sack from which cries and shrieks emanate. Frame 2: Krampus stops, hands on knees, puffing. the sack, bigger now, wobbles and struggles. Frame 3: Krampus chasing a terrified girl and shouting “Grrr! Rotten kid!!” as Solstice Goat walks up and watches. smiling. Frame 4: Solstice Goat says, “Busy day?” Krampus stuffing a kid into his bulging bag, says, “Yup. Good thing I’m an extrovert.”

 

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Sunday, December 20, 2020

Green Dog Solstice 2020

Frame 1: Solstice goat, dressed in red and green holly and suspenders asks, “How will you celebrate solstice this year?” Frame 2: Sr. Banana, the Chihuahua, appears in a gold sun crown, a pot on his head, a painted gourd rattle in one hand and wooden spoons in the other, and a hand-woven aztec-themed outfit. He says, “honoring cultural traditions.” Frame 3: Bok Choi, the siamese cat, sitting on a fluffy rug in front of a fire, as snow falls outside the window, says, “meditation.” Frame 4: Squash, the English Sheepdog, sits at a table with a napkin around his neck, fork in hand. he says “a jelly roll,” and both Sr. Banana and Bok Choi suddenly appear saying, “ooh, can we have some?” (btw the jelly roll is vanilla cake, raspberry jelly, with chocolate glaze dribbling down the sides.)

 

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City: Holiday Lights

Frame 1: Justus, Sebastien, and May are decorating the holiday tree. Sebastian strikes a match to light a fat three-wick candle. Justus says, “No candles. they emit toxins.” Frame 2: Sebastien holds up a tea light, and asks, “How about battery candles?” And Justus says, “Plastic trash, and batteries that leak acid.” May walks past sucking on a huge candy cane. Frame 3: Sebastien holds up a string of colored lights, and says “Electric lights?” and Justus replies, “burning fossil fuels? are you Serious?” Frame 4: May is sitting on the sofa alone, with her teddy bear, finishing her candy cane. Offstage Sebastien asks, “glow in the dark stuff?” and Justus says “radiation!” Frame 5: Eddie enters from outside. Sebastien, May, and Justus are all sitting on the sofa in the dark. Eddie says “What on earth are you doing?” and Sebastien replies, “celebrating the festival of lights.”

 

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